When I saw Ellen laugh, I knew everything was gonna be alright… how was I to know it wouldn’t last?

By the time Artie began dancing the Voodoo Crispy, Markle’s spell was broken.

I knew the song would attract Artie, the Strongest Man in the World, like a giant funk magnet. And sure enough…

"Nya-ha-ha! Music of the gods! I am large on George Clinton!"

On my signal, I got the horn section to play “Love Rollercoaster” by the Ohio Players.

My plan wasn’t based on the Crimean War or anything, but I liked it. Everyone knew but Ellen and the Markles.

I had seen enough. It was time to remind Ellen what band was supposed to be and get her away from James Markle, Jr.

"Thanks for being a good sport, champ."

"Are you coming over later?"

"I can’t. James, Jr. and I have to practice."

"Oh."

"What are you doing?"

"Going over the third movement of the Prussian Battle Hymn. James, Jr. says that instead of drums, the percussionists used to use live hand grenades."

"…Neat."

Then he set out to forge a psychic brain meld so they could stay perfectly in step and telepathically bridge the gap between the dot and the rest of the “I.”"Hi."

Then he set out to forge a psychic brain meld so they could stay perfectly in step and telepathically bridge the gap between the dot and the rest of the “I.”

"Hi."